Yes, I am an idiot.

I don’t like cucumber. I hate the smell, which is like that of the black speckled corner in the cheap hotel room. That aroma of mould and wet rot comes through in the taste, and I can pick up just a small flavour of it in food, ruining it for me. On the other hand I have a compulsion to try new drinks, even when I am fairly certain I will find them awful.

Qcumber drink

This was one of those. Realistically, there was no way I was going to enjoy this slightly sweetened, sparkling essence of fleapit carpet spores, but I had to try. It was bad. To be fair, not as bad as I was worried it would be, as it wasn’t overwhelming, but still so bad I couldn’t manage more than two sips. Brother in law didn’t mind it, though, so if you really like cucumber so much you wish it was available in sugary liquid form, your wish has been granted.